Open Up a Can of Worms
Okay that was really bad humor but oh well! :) Anyways, Kim has requested the story of the can opener. I have tried to refrain from posting too much bad stuff about my current place of work but since I'm almost out of here and it's all the truth, I feel like I can now share funny stories at least! ;)
So we always joke that our law firm is ghetto. In reality, it's not our law firm - it's our section. We are the red-headed stepchildren (not to be offensive to any red-headed stepchildren - my good friend is actually one!) of the firm and therefore get all the old junky stuff. Well, before Jes started working here, we used to have this REALLY bad can opener in our work kitchen. I mean like it took at least TWO people to use it because it was so ridiculous. One person would hold the can opener and twist and the other would have to hold the can and twist. It was so absurd! It exacerbated our carpal tunnel from typing and was just a big pain.....we used to laugh at how stupid and difficult it was to just eat a can of soup or some spaghetti O's.
And then Jes joined our firm. In her bottom drawer of her desk, she had a mini-mart. She had crackers, oatmeal, canned soups, and other treats. And she brought in a can opener. It was a hand can opener still, but it was a normal one that only took one person to use! Once we saw Jes with this can opener, we would have to sneakily borrow it from each time. We could not leave that can opener in our kitchen because the people from the other kitchen would try to come steal it, and we would back to the stupid can opener again.
When Jes left, she decided to pass on the can opener to me. I have it hidden in one of the cabinets above my desk. The people in our section know that is where the good can opener is hidden so that we don't have to use the bad one anymore. In fact, I think the bad one is probably even stolen to the other side already.....because I think we got it from the other side originally when we had none at all. Needless to say, it has become a very important fixture in the ability to eat lunch around here especially in the winter time or whenever you want soup or canned goods. So I decided it was necessary to pass the can opener on to someone else who can keep it hidden safe and so they can still enjoy the yummy goodness. We've asked for a real can opener, like the electric kind that costs what like 30 bucks, and to no avail. Mind you we have logo-imprinted shirts and sweaters, a stocked beer fridge, and a swanky Christmas party, but we have no normal can openers.
So there you have it, the can opener story! Hope you enjoy! :)
posted by Mel at 4:00 PM
8 Comments:
omigosh. i laughed OUT LOUD when i read how you described my bottom drawer: a mini-mart?
LOL! it's true though - i had cereal, oatmeal, snack bars, soup and canned veggies, cookies, etc.
i guess it was like a mini-mart. i should've sold lottery tickets, too.
Thank you for the cute story! This (for-real) redheaded stepchild working in a (for-real)ghetto office appreciates stories from the big city ;)
And dont forget that we have 9 LA/ secretaries in our section and our kitchen had a tiny round table with only 4 chairs. They finally got a bigger table and more chairs, but we are also taking over the rest of the floor in the building and are going to have to share that kitchen with all the new people. Well, Mel and I wont, but the people still here will have to. Good luck to them.
did they move the flat file out of the kitchen? because i don't understand how you have room for a bigger table and more chairs with the flat file still in there...
Yes they finally moved out the flat file. Now there is two square tables pushed together and 8 chairs I guess it is....still too tiny, you can barely walk around in there but at least there are more places to sit. They are supposedly putting in an ice maker and another dishwasher to accommodate the extra people from the new section but it's still not really big enough to be shared but at least it won't be my problem! :)
We have an attorney that has totally taken over the kitchen. The table is stacked three feet high covered in faxes and law books and misplaced file folders. The counter between the microwave and the phone is stacked a couple inches high with phone message slips... don't even try eating lunch in there, because if you are sitting there chewing away, with the t.v. on or reading a book, he will come in and get on the phone w/clients and spit tobacco into the trash can...
wow, thats....gross, really gross
that IS nasty. you should make him keep a cup in his office where he can do that, PRIVATELY and discreetly IN HIS OWN SPACE.
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