It's Been Awhile.....

So, I know everyone has been super sad because I haven't posted on my blog since Monday. Frankly, there are two reasons for this: 1) I haven't felt like I've had much to say and 2) I felt like anything I might have to say would be too boring or trivial to read. In case you didn't know, I'm a huge perfectionist and to have a so-so blog is just not allowed. Now, I'm not going to pretend that some of my blog entries aren't boring to some because I like to do my weekend updates and other things to keep people update on my life. But I don't want my entire blog to consist of boring updates on my life!!! So here's a topic up for discussion today:

How do you figure out when you are ready to settle down? Now, don't get scared - things are going WONDERFUL with Austin and me and I couldn't be happier with our marriage. That seems to be the one and ONLY part of settling down that I have mastered or at least have made a good attempt at! :) But the rest of it: job, place to live, having kids, that whole future aspect of my life is still up in the air.

I like my new job, but I still ask myself if this is really what I can see myself settling into for the rest of my working career. Do I, Mel S, plan on working as a paralegal for the next 40 years? There are other professions I might enjoy, but they won't pay enough or I don't have enough experience or other factors that make them less appealing. There is the option of staying home with the kids once we have them, but I don't know if I would be happy doing that either or if we will be blessed enough to survive on one income with extra mouths to feed. These are all questions that have no answers and being the perfectionist that I am, they are hard for me to deal with because I LOVE to plan and prepare and know what is coming along. I can deal with the bumps and bruises along the way, but the MOUNTAINS AND VALLEYS are what really scare me!

I like the area that we live in and our apartment and everything else. But I sometimes really miss warmer weather year round or water. This area is so land-locked, it's depressing sometimes! Is this the area of the country where I want to settle down, live in permanently, raise a family? Austin's family lives here which is nice, but might we be happier somewhere like Austin that has a mixed environment of city and countryside with hills and lakes and where we can have our own life, not the life that I started in college and never left and the life that he's lived his entire life. It's definitely something to consider and probably should be done soon since we probably will be trying for kids in the next few years and want to have a "home" established and jobs and other important aspects of life.

I want to have kids probably in 2-3 more years. But am I ready? Will I be ready then? Will we have enough money, a good enough place for them to go to school, a good enough daycare should we have to use that option? Will we be responsible enough? Will we know the right things to do and say to raise them so wonderfully like we were raised by our parents? Will we be sad that we can't go on trips or to concerts or movies or any of the other things that we like to do now? So many questions! :) But I guess that's part of the beauty of life that you get to see what will happen with your questions and be provided the answers when it is time.

I guess that is enough of my deep thinking for today.....conclusion is there are many questions left unanswered but definitely worth thinking about. Life is such a journey, so many paths you can take, so many choices to be made. Thank God I have a wonderful person to walk along the journey with me, a wonderful family that has raised me to take this journey to the best of my ability, and someone up above to watch over me and help guide me on my way! Hope you all have a wonderful rest of the day, and I'm sure I'll be writing more tomorrow but until then, I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments! :)