Marriage DOES NOT = baby
I do not understand this concept whatsoever. Why is that that people think they have the right to start asking questions about babies about two seconds after you walk down the aisle? Don't get me wrong: I totally want to have children in a few years. But I would really like to ENJOY my time as a newlywed with my husband and whatnot before I even think of adding another life to the picture. I mean, heck, I think it is difficult enough taking care of my dog right now because if we decide to go out of town or whatnot, we have to consider what to do with her too. We can't just decide to take a last minute trip to Austin or Houston or whatever without boarding her which costs money as well. I can't even imagine having a kid. I still have many things that I want to do - I am only 25 years old. It's not like I'm some old maid that better have kids soon or I won't be able to. I have only been married two months and people are already starting with the "oh you can have one of these someday soon" or "so when are you two going to have a baby?" It is SO annoying!
I mean maybe I'm just selfish or whatever, but I personally don't think it's anyone else's business about when we will be having children. I mean hell, it's not their decision whether we have any at all - which I do want to have them so that's not the point. The point is this: please don't assume that just because I'm married now that I'm immediately going to be getting pregnant. I am a very independent woman and would like to have a career and be successful in life at least for a little while before settling down and doing the mommy thing. And you can think I'm the most evil, insensitive person in the world but that's just how I feel. I don't think I should be having kids tomorrow just because someone's co-workers or family members think it should be so.
The moral of the story is: do not ASSUME that just because we have rings on our fingers and walked down the aisle that a baby is on the way. It's just not right to butt your nose into other's business, and people should be more respectful of decisions that have been made. I know Austin is excited about being a father just as I am excited about being a mother ONE DAY, but not today or anytime in the near future. So BACK OFF!!!! :)
posted by Mel at 11:23 AM
5 Comments:
It is rude when people you dont even really know start getting nosy just because youre a newlywed. Its the same when you are pregnant too, total strangers think its ok to touch your stomach, ask you personal questions, especially other women who are already moms. When you and Austin decide to have children is entirely up to you. One of the reasons my mom divorced her ex-husband bc she wanted children and he didnt. When my mom and dad got married they still waited 2 years before they had my brother. Im sure your parents and in-laws are excited as the prospect of being grandparents, you are an only child and Austin is the oldest child in his family, but feeling pressured to procreate before youre ready is not cool. They might not even realize they are making you feel that way.
dude - it's so funny to me when people get mad and you can actually read and feel their anger through their blog.
i feel the same way - we're waiting a few years to have children. marriage can be such a big adjustment in itself - in my opinion, unless you're "older" and your clock REALLY IS ticking, all couples should wait a little while before getting prego, just to give themselves time to mature their relationship before having children.
Stand your ground, girl! :)
Sorry if that came across really selfish, but I just don't like people telling me what to do. Especially when it's my body that will be affected - I will have to deal with soreness, weight gain & hopeful loss, morning sickness, uncomfortableness, etc. for 9 months before the beautiful miracle joins us. Not ready for all that yet! And I agree with Jes, I think it's better to develop your relationship further with your husband and learn more and grow together before adding a child to the picture. So that's my two cents! :)
Personally, not that it matters. I think this planet is over flowing with too many kids as it is. When people ask me when I plan to have kids, my natural response is: " I dunno, when were you planning to die?". To which they usually laugh ,as I give them a creepy stare.
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